The Six Week Mark and Boundaries

Some may say it isn’t a good idea for a student to go back home too early from beginning University; I question how early is early? Before setting off on my travels to Coventry I always planned to come back  in six weeks. However, during those six weeks I wanted to come home for good.

I spent a good three quarters of Semester one crying myself to sleep, waking up in tears by morning, throwing tantrums down the phone to my whole family and shaking in fits of anxiety. I hated it, I hated being away from home. I figured I am small town Northern Irish born and bred, I’m not fit for the vast area of this city and I’m not sociable enough for the average Uni student.

I went home, excited. Excited because for the past six or so weeks all I was wishing for was to sit down at my kitchen table at home with a cup of tea just talking nonsense with my Mum, cuddling my pet rabbit Lola or going into town on a Saturday with my Dad. I remember that I didn’t sleep well the night before boarding an easyJet plane at Birmingham airport because I didn’t want to oversleep and miss getting home!

Going back home for me was weird, I came back feeling like a guest. Which was the most devastating feeling in the world. Why, did I feel like a guest in my own home? I lay in my comfy bed cuddling my adorable Lola and sobbed, thinking I was so stupid to ever leave. Gladly I wasn’t a guest for long when mum told me to clean my room and Dad told me to clean out Lola, strangely this brought me back to normality.

Lola The White Rabbit, my reason to feel blessed.

Since I was only home for the weekend, I didn’t allow myself to get settled back in again, which felt so emotional. Yet another part of me felt confused, at home I don’t have a beside table like I do in Halls or a plug nearby like I do I Halls. Then I look in the fridge/freezer and there is little food I would eat at home, since I am a semi-vegetatarian (only the odd piece of Chicken)/can be picky. At Uni, I can just go get the food I want and stock up the fridge/freezer with the things I only eat, so I guess “Independent Living” is nice in that respect.

The six week mark was a good time to go back because after I returned I would have less than six weeks until I am home again for Christmas. Despite those first six weeks being a major struggle for me, I am glad I didn’t just ‘up sticks’ and abandon the Uni life after that first week.

I do get really jealous of other students who only live half an hour away and get to go home more frequently. But I choose to compare myself on a more positive level, I am becoming more independent. If you are a parent of a potential student, there is some boundaries you cannot cross when it comes to said student being homesick…

1. Don’t tell them Home is so different without you. My mum, tells me she is spending more time with my other sister which makes me jealous since I used to be “Mummy’s girl” for a long time.
2. Don’t say ‘Oh but you’ll be home soon, twelve weeks will fly in.” Yes, 12 weeks do fly in, but until the plane, train or coach is booked to come home it becomes more realistic. 
3. Six weeks is a good time to first come home, but sooner (four weeks+) is better. Especially for those who don’t have nice flatmates or are close to a relative. I am lucky enough to have amazing clean flatmates and live about an hour direct train away from my sister in London.
4. Coming home. This relates to No 3 and the above story, coming home as soon as possible (though not too soon), is also important so the student doesn’t feel trapped like I did. For weeks I felt like a massive chain was tying me down and I was being strangled, I soon worked out that this was because I didn’t know exactly how to get back home. Until I went home, I found a bus to the train station, I found a train to Birmingham Intl and I found my gate at the airport. I came back not feeling so trapped! 
5. Don’t stress about them, just support them. Speaks for itself really.
6. Don’t say ‘Oh but you have nothing at home. What else are you going to do?’ Right, this one really annoyed me (sorry Mum!), I am aware that I have nothing at home except going into another Media course perhaps? It is important to listen to the alternatives and help plan the alternatives if that is what the student wants to do.
7. Support. Support. Support. I can’t say this enough, I do believe that I got plenty of support before, during and now at Uni. However I never got Support for my future, in that my alternatives (as stated in no.5) weren’t acceptable. Even when I had emailed a course back home. 
8. Forcing your child to see the Welfare Officer is acceptable. I now realise my mother’s worried email to the welfare officer was worth it, when she said, “I can get you a form for you to sign and you can withdraw and leave halls within 24hrs”, I knew that no matter how hard it was (and still is), I would regret signing.
9. Maybe ask, ‘what else are you withdrawing from?’ I figured this out on my own, I was withdrawing from having a life away from ‘Debbie’s little Sister’ or ‘Shy Girl’, I was withdrawing from becoming a proper Media Practitioner, from a degree, from being independent, from eating what I want, going out when and where I want.  But in no way, plant ideas in their heads, like list the above, let them figure it out.
10. Ring them. Skype them. Text them. Facebook message them. If I go a few days without family contact it becomes really weird and suddenly I feel so alone and isolated. But don’t overdo it. Ask them if they want to be contacted more or less.
    

P.s Thank You Mum, Dad, Shaz, Abbi, Cherith and Debra for being so supportive and my flatmates Victoria and Jacky for forcing me to come out of my room.

Does Undergraduate mean Underemployed?

The recent decision allowing Universities to accept more applicants for Undergraduate study has now made the average degree all the more worthless.

In the demanding and struggling job market, top BTEC and A-Level results just don’t make the cut. For months after achieving a double distinction star and distinction profile for my BTEC, I applied constantly for jobs. Only ending up as a ‘temp’ cleaning the Halls and offices of my local university, it was money that got me savings, but it was hardly a career.

So onwards and upwards I moved across the water to Coventry. With the non-specific degrees in Northern Ireland, I became a Coventry University student, enrolling onto their competitive BA (Hons) Media Production course.

After reading the news that our so-called country leaders, ‘the Government’ are allowing Universities to expand their student ratio, I was down right raging. Already, I find University to be a major task and trying to concentrate in Skills workshops whilst self-consciously worrying about what people think of me is another task in itself. Adding the pressure of more students in classes will make it tougher. My skills classes have already too many people in them; we do not need more humans in the one room!

Plus, the competitive edge that comes with Media degrees – or any given degree – is ridiculous, I’ve been learning Media for five years prior to university and when I came into a class full of Media Know It All’s, I freaked out.

University is all about learning externally as well as internally. Which is why I have been teaching myself the Adobe editing software and brushing up on my Photoshop skills. However, if I am learning the software, the mass part of my degree by myself, what am I paying the just under nine grand a year for? Could it be the rental of a multi-billion pound Media Loan Shop, the basic bones of Media theory or how to turn on a Z1? Surely that is not worth the fees, when an HND at Home would have taught me just the same for 90% less money.

A Higher National Diploma (HND) would have taught everything I needed to know. Apart from the independence I have acquired by moving away from home. A degree is about learning on your own.  If I had of went to Derry for the HND, I wouldn’t have learnt the life skill of learning by myself and on my own accord. Yes the fees are incredibly high, especially when there is no guaranteed job at the end of the three/four years but that just makes me more determined.

Back to the expansion that could be underway in my University, well I have to agree to disagree.  I recently spoke to a friend who wants to study Veterinary nursing at a local university but was rejected due to the high number of applicants. This made me think, we do need to allow more applicants into universities. I really do want a degree, to better myself, to excel and to ultimately get somewhere in life just like the thousands of others out there. But that’s the thing, getting somewhere in life requires more than an Undergraduate degree it requires the extras. The work experience, the extra curricular (hobbies/societies) and the knowledge of more than just, for example, the Media in Britain. It requires the knowledge of various cultures and putting your theories to practice by getting out there.  You need the determination and like my parents said:

Don’t just fall at the first hurdle.

One of the reasons I choose Coventry, it offers a placement/year abroad, I was aiming to get on the Global Leaders Programme and now I am looking into going to China/Hong Kong.

However will allowing more students to study help the job market rise or fall? Sadly it seems that the trainee jobs and unpaid internships are the foreseeable future for Undergraduates, which is why it is vital to choose the right University.

At That Daunting Stage? Go to http://www.unistats.com and http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk for help.